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Collected by Imam Al-Bukhari Abu Abdullah Muhammad bin Ismail

With commentary based on the checking, editing, rulings, and comments of:

Imam Muhammad Naasiruddeen al-Albaanee

Shaykh Husayn ‘Awdah al-‘Awaayisha

Shaykh Sameer bin Ameen az-Zuhayree

Dr. Muhammad Luqman as-Salafee

Chapter 7:

On Being Dutiful to Parents As Long As That Does Not Entail
Disobedience to Allah

حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ عَبْدِ الْعَزِيزِ، قَالَ‏: ‏ حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الْمَلِكِ بْنُ الْخَطَّابِ بْنِ عُبَيْدِ اللهِ بْنِ أَبِي بَكْرَةَ الْبَصْرِيُّ لَقِيتُهُ بِالرَّمْلَةِ قَالَ‏: ‏ حَدَّثَنِي رَاشِدٌ أَبُو مُحَمَّدٍ، عَنْ شَهْرِ بْنِ حَوْشَبٍ، عَنْ أُمِّ الدَّرْدَاءِ، عَنْ أَبِي الدَّرْدَاءِ قَالَ‏: ‏ أَوْصَانِي رَسُولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم بِتِسْعٍ‏: ‏ لاَ تُشْرِكْ بِاللَّهِ شَيْئًا ؛ وَإِنْ قُطِّعْتَ أَوْ حُرِّقْتَ، وَلاَ تَتْرُكَنَّ الصَّلاَةَ الْمَكْتُوبَةَ مُتَعَمِّدًا، وَمَنْ تَرَكَهَا مُتَعَمِّدًا بَرِئَتْ مِنْهُ الذِّمَّةُ، وَلاَ تَشْرَبَنَّ الْخَمْرَ، فَإِنَّهَا مِفْتَاحُ كُلِّ شَرٍّ، وَأَطِعْ وَالِدَيْكَ، وَإِنْ أَمَرَاكَ أَنْ تَخْرُجَ مِنْ دُنْيَاكَ فَاخْرُجْ لَهُمَا، وَلاَ تُنَازِعَنَّ وُلاَةَ الأَمْرِ وَإِنْ رَأَيْتَ أَنَّكَ أَنْتَ، وَلاَ تَفْرُرْ مِنَ الزَّحْفِ، وَإِنْ هَلَكْتَ وَفَرَّ أَصْحَابُكَ، وَأَنْفِقْ مِنْ طَوْلِكَ عَلَى أَهْلِكَ، وَلاَ تَرْفَعْ عَصَاكَ عَنْ أَهْلِكَ، وَأَخِفْهُمْ فِي اللهِ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ‏.‏ حَسَنٌ

1. Abu Darda said:

“The Messenger of Allah ﷺ admonished me with regard to nine things:

  • Do not associate anything with Allah, even if you are cut to pieces or burnt.

  • Do not abandon an obligatory prayer deliberately. Anyone who deliberately abandons it will lose Allah’s protection.

  • Do not drink wine for it is the key to every evil.

  • Obey your parents, even if they command you to abandon your worldly possessions, then leave it for their sake.

  • Do not contend with those in power, even if you think you are more capable.

  • Do not run away from the army when it advances, even if you are killed and your companions run away.

  • Spend on your wife out of your means.

  • Do not raise a stick against your wife.

  • Command your family to fear (the punishment of) Allah, the Mighty and Exalted.” (Sound)

This hadeeth tells us about some of the harms that result from the iniquities it mentioned. It emphasizes the obligation of giving obedience to our parents in every situation and being ready to part with our possessions for their sake except when it entails sinfulness. And as regards for what they could take from the wealth of their children, Allah’s Messenger
referred to them: “... they (i.e. the children) and their possessions are yours when you are in need of them.” However, explaining the hadeeth, Imam Al-Albaanee رحمه الله averred: “It is not without exception, that a father could take just whatever he desires from the wealth of his child; not at all. He should only take what he needs.” This hadeeth also shows the necessity of spending on our wives, and teaching and enforcing Islamically acceptable patterns of behavior. We should not leave the members of our household without discipline, but when they are (being disciplined), they must be treated in the best of ways. The husband has a huge responsibility to order his household to fear Allah - the Mighty and Exalted - and so, he must also fear Allah - the Most High - regarding himself and in his dealings. The right teacher guides the student towards what benefits him and warns him against whatever may harm him.

2. ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr said:

“A man came to the Prophet ﷺ and said, ‘I have come to make a pledge with you, that I will do hijrah although I have left my parents in tears.’

The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘Go back to them and make them laugh as you made them weep.’” (Authentic)

3. ‘Abdullah bin ‘Amr said:
“A man came to the Prophet ﷺ wanting to do jihad.

The Prophet ﷺ asked, ‘Are your parents still alive?’

He said, ‘Yes.’

The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘Then exert yourself (do jihad) in their service.’” (Authentic)

Imam An-Nawawee رحمه الله explained: “All this is evidence for the greatness of the virtue of being dutiful to the parents and that it is given preference over jihad. It also contains evidence for the statement of the scholars that it is not permissible to go for jihad except with their permission if they are both Muslim.” Additionally, exerting oneself in the service of parents is also referred to as jihad. The hadeeth evinces the fact that the leader should be in charge of organizing the matters of jihad; considering the conditions of each of the followers, and giving preponderance for issues of personal benefit over those of general benefit.

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